In my first post of 2025 titled “Receiving, Not Grasping in 2025“, I shared that my intentional choice entering the New Year was to receive. To say it another way, my vision was, and still is, to live life in a posture of receiving rather than grasping. As someone who struggles with a desire to control outcomes, this does not come natural to me. While releasing control is easy in principle, it is very challenging in reality. Now five months into 2025, I am most certainly still a work in progress, but I have learned a few things along the way.

One morning a few weeks ago, I was really struggling with anxiety and decided to go for a run. The truth is my anxiety journey was the catalyst for this intentional choice to receive instead grasp. If you are a person who also deals with anxiousness from time-to-time, you have more than likely also come to the realization that to some level it goes back to a need for control. In other words, if I could just control all of the outcomes, there wouldn’t be an issue. The problem is that is a lie. We were never created to control all of the outcomes, which is why our daily pursuit to do so leads to so much anxiety.

Back to my run. On this particular day, I was having trouble focusing at all. My mind was spinning with anxiety as I ran along a road near my house that morning. Exercise, especially running outside, helps my anxiety. It did not seem to be making much of a difference that day. Particularly frustrating was the fact that I couldn’t put my finger on what was fueling my anxiety. I knew, of course, that it was coming from an unhealthy need to control the outcome of something. The issue was I couldn’t figure out which outcome my mind had grasped onto that day. I was at a loss.

Completely frustrated, I decided to tell God where I stood. Praying as I continued to run along, I told God I knew that grasping onto outcomes was a losing battle. I knew it would only lead to more anxiety and suck the joy out of life. As much as I knew all of this was true, I just couldn’t seem to open my hands and release my grip. “Why can’t I just move past this?” I asked God.

Jogging along, my mind still generally a mess, one clear thought popped into my head: lean into the discomfort of not needing to be in control. The truth is it wasn’t quite that concise in the moment, but the meaning was clear. You see, my anxiety tends to go in cycles. For a few days in a row, I feel anxious until I finally get to the place that I decide to let go of control. In releasing control, receiving not grasping, I experience more freedom and less anxiety. That is until, it starts again about 10 days later. The cycle inexplicably starts over. Inexplicably until that day at least.

In what I can only think was an epiphany from God, I had finally gained some clarity. This two week cycle was fueled by my subconscious unwillingness to truly release control. I have become “comfortable” with trying to control outcomes. It has become my norm. In the short term, I am able to stop grasping for control, but eventually I would gravitate back to my “comfortable” norm. To say it another way, I would become uncomfortable with the freedom found in trusting God with the outcomes He is ultimately in control of anyway. Finding lasting freedom would mean recognizing when I am falling back into “grasping mode” and choosing the uncomfortable “receiving mode”.

This is where I find myself today. I can’t say that I have figured it out, but I can say that I am further along in the journey to living life from a posture of receiving instead of grasping. In gaining clarity on my anxiety cycle, I am in a better position to open my hands and release control when I find myself grasping for it.

I share this to encourage you. Maybe you have the same struggle with anxiety and control. Maybe your struggle is different. Wherever you find yourself today, know that there is hope, and growth and freedom is possible. The journey isn’t always easy, but it is worth it. Don’t give up. I believe in you, and more importantly, so does the God who created you.

I am receiving, not grasping in 2025. I am not there yet, but I am closer than I was yesterday. May the same be true for you!

James Belt

Click here​ for more information on my book Hope Realized and resources to help you bring hope to others!