How much peace are you experiencing today? How grateful are you today?

While both questions revolve around how you are feeling, we do not often associate them with one another. This is a mistake. There is a definite connection between gratitude and the amount of peace you are experiencing in life. You do not have to take my word for it. If you do a quick search on the connection between well-being and gratitude, you will find many studies confirming this often overlooked relationship. So, why are they connected and why do we rarely associate the two?

If you were to randomly ask people if gratefulness is a good thing you would more than likely get close 100% confirmation. With Thanksgiving approaching in the United States, it is a reminder that most people would vote for gratitude. If you were to ask them why, you would get a number of “should-based” answers such as, “you should be thankful for what you have.” You would also get responses suggesting that being thankful puts into perspective how much you have compared to many others in the world. I am sure many people would also say you are generally happier when you are thankful. These are all true and good answers, but why does gratitude produce such positive feelings?

I believe it is because gratitude has a way of re-centering us. In fact, I think it actually removes us from the center. As humans, we have a tendency to make ourselves the center of the universe. This is rarely intentional but rather a gravitational pull toward self-preservation. When the world revolves around us, we start to believe everything should serve us. The only problem is it doesn’t. This gap between what we think and the reality in which we live can leave us feeling indignant, frustrated, and anxious. Insert gratitude.

Gratitude and self-centeredness repel each other. In other words, it is very difficult, if not impossible, to be grateful and self-focused at the same time. Think about it. The very act of being thankful requires you to look outside yourself for the source of the blessings in your life. By inserting gratitude, you are forcing yourself to recognize that you are not completely self-made. Instead, you see the impact others have had on your life and how much of life is actually a gift. In some ways, this could be perceived as a downgrade–what do you mean I am not in complete control of my life? However, the truth is it is a recognition of reality that produces freedom.

Anxiety is something I struggle with from time to time. It is not something I would have chosen to be a part of my journey, but it has taught me a lot along the way. Maybe the most important of these lessons has been the connection between my anxiety and my need to control outcomes. This is especially true when life gets hectic. In these moments, I try to exert my will upon life to ensure that everything turns out the way I think it should. The only problem is I can’t. Sure, I can play a role in what happens in life, but I do not have the ability to guarantee an outcome. This gap between my desire and my actual ability to control outcomes produces anxiety within me. I have unknowingly put myself at the center of a universe I can’t control.

This struggle has taught me the power of gratitude to give me freedom from my need to control outcomes. Instead of trying to control the universe, I have the freedom to let go and see life as a gift to be received. I can recognize that I am not in control while be thankful that there is a God who is. I can take life as it comes instead of believing I am one misstep from destruction. Living with gratitude moves you out of the center and allows you to see life as it truly is. Living in harmony with reality produces peace and well-being.

So, if this is true, why are we so bad at it?

We have told ourselves a lie. We believe peace and well-being will only come when everything is the way I believe it should be. In other words, I am the one who produces my own peace and well-being. Do we play a role in our peace and well-being? Yes, of course. We should be responsible and have the opportunity to play a role in the flourishing of our lives and the world. The key is to understand we have a role, but are not in control. Once we do our part, we have the freedom to let go and leave the rest in God’s hands, because it is anyway.

Gratitude is a great tool for finding well-being and peace. Living a life of gratitude instead just a day of gratitude each year on Thanksgiving requires intention and isn’t easy, but it is worth it. May this Thanksgiving be a reminder of the peace and well-being we can experience when we step into gratitude.

Happy Thanksgiving!

James Belt